On Losing a Soul Mate without Losing Your Soul
Safaris for the Soul--A lone elephant mourns.
While teaching in South Africa at the World Creativity Conference this year, I was haunted by a lone elephant I observed in the bush. (Pictured above) Was he an outcast from his tribe? Was he ill? Was he or she longing for a lost love?
The connection came to me today while reading "Random Acts of Heroic Love" by Danny Scheinman.
Entry # 68: "Elephants are a bit like us. They live to seventy, reach adulthood at twenty and socialize in groups. When an elephant dies in the wild, the other members of the herd will stand over the corpse in days of mourning. One female elephant was observed leaving the herd and walking thirty miles to visit the bones of a recently departed mate."
Having coached both men and women who have faced the desolate trail of losing a partner through either death or divorce while on travel safari, the question becomes, how can one bear losing a soul mate without losing their own soul? The real challenge I have found is that in the depths of despair we tend to gravitate to the lonely abyss of isolation verses reaching out to those who can provide us with a life line and support.
In the course of grieving for our soul mate, we somehow lose connection with our own soul and the very tribe that can provide us with support when we need them most. Odd thing about depression: for some reason, we don't want those that we love most to see us at our worst, so we sometimes show them our best or perhaps more likely go into private seclusion like our lone elephant. The symptoms: We isolate ourselves, avoid phone calls, social events and are certainly no longer available to "chat" on IM. We simply don't have the energy for advice about what we should do to make our life whole again.
To those who many find themselves during this holiday season grieving for lost lives lost loves and lost soul mates, my blessings and wishes that in 2010 you will find your own soul again through the combination of remembrance and renewal.--- That the elephant's gift of the memory and gifts of loved ones remains by your side and a Go Wild! Go GREAT! spirit of new adventures remains within you.
Most importantly a message to reach out to your tribal support group. No matter who you are, where you are,what you have, you need one!
Rosemary Rein, Ph.D is a Certified Professional Coach who hosts life renewal retreats in Tropical Costa Rica. She specializes in working with Executives and Women in Transition during one week focused immersion sessions.
www.retreatscostarica.com an www.gowildgogreat.com
